Sunday, January 26, 2020

THE TURNING MOVIE REVIEW

 The Turning is directed by Floria Sigismondi and stars Mackenzie Davis, Finn Wolfhard, Brooklynn Prince, and Joely Richardson. The plot of the movie is a young governess is hired by a man who has become responsible for his young nephew and niece after their parents' deaths. This is a nothing movie. Nothing happens, it has no meaning, it barely has an ending, and it leaves you wondering why the hell you just wasted your time. The movie is about 70 minutes of pure setup she's trapped in this house, the kids are getting on her nerves, she's having horrific visions, and then something occurs and you think the movie is ending. Then the film does a trick of sorts and the final 10 minutes are unforgivable I have not been this pissed off about how a film ends in my life.    Mackenzie Davis is extremely over-the-top. Finn Wolfhard is unfortunately really bad and I am a fan of his. Brooklynn Prince is not that bad. By the end of the movie, I was so betrayed by the complete lack of respect for the audience.  0 out of 5 stars for The Turning. I hope you enjoyed my review.


Sunday, January 19, 2020

DOLITTLE MOVIE REVIEW

 Dolittle is directed by Stephen Gaghan and stars Robert Downey Jr., Antonio Banderas, Michael Sheen, Emma Thompson, Rami Malek, John Cena, Kumail Nanjiani, Octavia Spencer, Tom Holland, Craig Robinson, Ralph Fiennes, Selena Gomez, and Marion Cotillard. The plot of the movie is a physician discovers that he can talk to animals. Dolittle is a terrible movie in just about every single way it fails as a comedy, it fails as an adventure, and it fails as an action movie. The CGI is extremely unconvincing. Robert Downey Jr. is one of the most charming and likable actors on the planet, but he is really bad in this movie his accent is very distracting and it made it hard for me to take the character seriously.    All you get with this movie is a series of incoherent scenes that are so messy it is difficult to follow. Characters just go from one location to another along the way he encounters a tiger that needs therapy and for some stupid reason, the writers felt the need to put a scene in where Robert Downey Jr. pulls a bagpipe out of a dragon's ass I wish I was kidding.  The main problem with this movie is the reason he goes on this adventure is to save this queen who is ill. We know nothing about her and their friendship is not touched on at all. So why is he risking his life and these animal's lives for this relationship we know nothing about? Since that friendship is never explored I don't care what happens to these characters which makes the whole movie fucking boring.  0 out of 5 stars for Dolittle. I hope you enjoyed my review.


Saturday, January 11, 2020

LIKE A BOSS MOVIE REVIEW

 Like a Boss is directed by Miguel Arteta and stars Tiffany Haddish, Rose Byrne, Jennifer Coolidge, Natasha Rothwell, Billy Porter, and Salma Hayek. The plot of the movie is two friends with very different ideals start a beauty company together. One is more practical while the other wants to earn her fortune and live a lavish lifestyle. I'll watch any movie it doesn't matter who it is aimed at.  This movie is fucking terrible it is so exaggerated every scene is so absurd and to this heightened level of insanity that it was hard to take it seriously. Thankfully the movie is not that long.    One of the biggest problems with this movie is how cartoonish its villains are. Salma Hayek is obviously having a lot of fun in this role, but she is way too over-the-top. Tiffany Haddish and Rose Byrne are both super talented, and they both work well together here and it feels like they are friends. The problem is the movie doesn't give a shit about character or story and it just wants to make you laugh with these really unfunny scenes that are just embarrassing.  1 out of 5 stars for Like a Boss. I hope you enjoyed my review.

Friday, January 10, 2020

UNDERWATER MOVIE REVIEW

 Underwater is directed by William Eubank and stars Kristen Stewart, Vincent Cassel, Jessica Henwick, John Gallagher Jr., Mamoudou Athie, and T. J. Miller. The plot of the movie is a crew of aquatic researchers work to get to safety after an earthquake devastates their subterranean laboratory. But the crew has more than the ocean seabed to fear. Normally Horror/Thriller movies that come out in January end up being garbage. Then I saw the trailer and became a lot more interested in this movie. Any time an isolated crew of some kind of vessel encounters some sort of entity I will see it.    I really enjoyed this movie. Kristen Stewart is great in this she has to be in a heightened state of panic for most of this movie, and she pulls it off. Jessica Henwick is also very good in the movie. Her character Emily and Kristen Stewart's character Norah are the only two characters that I liked.    Pretty much right from the beginning the movie begins with this fast-paced sequence of events as this station begins to implode. You don't know what is causing it or why it is happening, but all of the characters are scrambling to get to safety it is extremely suspenseful. This movie does a great job of creating tension. I was on the edge of my seat most of the time.  This is very much a plot-driven movie, not character-driven. Even in most movies that are plot-based they still try to flesh out the characters, and they don't that much here.  Characters will have some downtime to talk and even then I only was invested in the two characters I mentioned before Norah and Emily. Everyone else in this movie is not bad, but they didn't do anything that will make me remember them. Another problem I had with this movie was T. J. Miller he makes a lot of jokes and every time it halted how intense the moment was and tried to create levity in that moment which was not needed. This is a lot better then I was expecting. I was pleasantly surprised.  4 out of 5 stars for Underwater. I hope you enjoyed my review.


Sunday, January 5, 2020

THE GRUDGE MOVIE REVIEW

 The Grudge is directed by Nicolas Pesce and stars Andrea Riseborough, Demian Bichir, John Cho, Betty Gilpin, Lin Shaye, and Jacki Weaver. The plot of the movie is a house is cursed by a vengeful ghost that dooms those who enter it with a violent death. This film is trying so hard to be dramatic. It is telling a story over many different time periods connecting events to one location where various families are involved. This is nothing new, but the big problem is the film thinks the events that are being uncovered are these incredible sequences, but it is not. A kid will have a nose bleed and you don't know why the kid has it and then later you find out, and I was sitting in my seat thinking why do I care about this.    This movie is horrendously boring there is nothing worse than a boring horror movie. You have a very simple job you're just supposed to scare the audience fairly often and tell a compelling story. This movie didn't do either of those things. This film thinks its characters are a lot more interesting than they are, it thinks its direction is a lot more clever than it actually is, and it sure thinks its a lot scarier then it is too. The film is filled with cheap jump scares from beginning to end and I saw every one of them coming. In fact, I was able to predict everything that was going to happen. 0 out of 5 stars for The Grudge. I hope you enjoyed my review.


Wednesday, January 1, 2020

2019 MOVIES WORST TO BEST

 It's time for me to rank all the movies I saw in 2019 from worst to best. I saw 45 movies this year. I had fun reviewing movies for you guys in 2019 and look forward to 2020. If you enjoyed my movie reviews this past year please hit the follow button.



45. THE LION KING



 MY REVIEW: THE LION KING MOVIE REVIEW























44. TERMINATOR: DARK FATE



 MY REVIEW: TERMINATOR: DARK FATE MOVIE REVIEW























43. AD ASTRA



 MY REVIEW: AD ASTRA MOVIE REVIEW























42. DOCTOR SLEEP



 MY REVIEW: DOCTOR SLEEP MOVIE REVIEW























41. ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD



 MY REVIEW: ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD MOVIE REVIEW























40. GOOD BOYS



 MY REVIEW: GOOD BOYS MOVIE REVIEW























39. THE LEGO MOVIE 2: THE SECOND PART



 MY REVIEW: THE LEGO MOVIE 2: THE SECOND PART MOVIE REVIEW























38. WONDER PARK



 MY REVIEW: WONDER PARK MOVIE REVIEW























37. GLASS



 MY REVIEW: GLASS MOVIE REVIEW























36. CHARLIE'S ANGELS



 MY REVIEW: CHARLIE'S ANGELS MOVIE REVIEW























35. MALEFICENT: MISTRESS OF EVIL



 MY REVIEW: MALEFICENT: MISTRESS OF EVIL MOVIE REVIEW























34. DUMBO



 MY REVIEW: DUMBO MOVIE REVIEW























33. HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U



 MY REVIEW: HAPPY DEATH DAY 2U MOVIE REVIEW























32. READY OR NOT



 MY REVIEW: READY OR NOT MOVIE REVIEW























31. PET SEMATARY



 MY REVIEW: PET SEMATARY MOVIE REVIEW























30. THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS 2



 MY REVIEW: THE SECRET LIFE OF PETS 2 MOVIE REVIEW























29. GEMINI MAN



 MY REVIEW: GEMINI MAN MOVIE REVIEW























28. LAST CHRISTMAS



 MY REVIEW: LAST CHRISTMAS MOVIE REVIEW























27. FORD V FERRARI



 MY REVIEW: FORD V FERRARI MOVIE REVIEW























26. ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP



 MY REVIEW: ZOMBIELAND: DOUBLE TAP MOVIE REVIEW























25. SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK



 MY REVIEW: SCARY STORIES TO TELL IN THE DARK MOVIE REVIEW























24. GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS



 MY REVIEW: GODZILLA: KING OF THE MONSTERS MOVIE REVIEW























23. MEN IN BLACK: INTERNATIONAL



 MY REVIEW: MEN IN BLACK: INTERNATIONAL MOVIE REVIEW























22. COLD PURSUIT



 MY REVIEW: COLD PURSUIT MOVIE REVIEW























21. KNIVES OUT



 MY REVIEW: KNIVES OUT MOVIE REVIEW























20. CAPTAIN MARVEL



 MY REVIEW: CAPTAIN MARVEL MOVIE REVIEW























19. ALADDIN



 MY REVIEW: ALADDIN MOVIE REVIEW























18. TOY STORY 4



 MY REVIEW: TOY STORY 4 MOVIE REVIEW























17. ROCKETMAN



 MY REVIEW: ROCKETMAN MOVIE REVIEW























16. ABOMINABLE



 MY REVIEW: ABOMINABLE MOVIE REVIEW























15. JUDY



 MY REVIEW: JUDY MOVIE REVIEW























14. CRAWL



 MY REVIEW: CRAWL MOVIE REVIEW























13. CHILD'S PLAY



 MY REVIEW: CHILD'S PLAY MOVIE REVIEW























12. DON'T LET GO



 MY REVIEW: DON'T LET GO MOVIE REVIEW























11. JOKER



 MY REVIEW: JOKER MOVIE REVIEW























10. THE ADDAMS FAMILY



 MY REVIEW: THE ADDAMS FAMILY MOVIE REVIEW























9. FAST AND FURIOUS PRESENTS: HOBBS AND SHAW



 MY REVIEW: FAST AND FURIOUS PRESENTS: HOBBS AND SHAW MOVIE REVIEW























8. HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON: THE HIDDEN WORLD



 MY REVIEW: HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON: THE HIDDEN WORLD MOVIE REVIEW























7. YESTERDAY



 MY REVIEW: YESTERDAY MOVIE REVIEW























6. FROZEN 2



 MY REVIEW: FROZEN 2 MOVIE REVIEW























5. FIVE FEET APART



 MY REVIEW: FIVE FEET APART MOVIE REVIEW























4. IT CHAPTER 2



 MY REVIEW: IT CHAPTER 2 MOVIE REVIEW























3. AVENGERS: ENDGAME



 MY REVIEW: AVENGERS: ENDGAME MOVIE REVIEW























2. SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME



 MY REVIEW: SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME MOVIE REVIEW























1. STAR WARS EPISODE IX: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER



 MY REVIEW: STAR WARS EPISODE IX: THE RISE OF SKYWALKER MOVIE REVIEW