Sunday, August 12, 2018


Slender Man is directed by Sylvain White and stars Joey King, Julia Goldani Telles, Jaz Sinclair, Annalise Basso, and Javier Botet. The plot of the movie is in a small town in Massachusetts, a group of friends fascinated by the internet lore of the Slender Man, attempt to prove that he doesn't actually exist until one of them mysteriously goes missing.    This movie is complete garbage.  The four main characters are mind-numbingly stupid and the acting is just as horrendous.  Once one of the girls goes missing and another one of the girls played by Joey King starts acting crazy and losing her mind a bit her acting was so over the top I actually started to get a headache.  Julia Goldani Telles is the lead character in this film. They have one minor opening scene with her that sets up her character sort of it's the lamest lead character setup I have ever seen. It's just her and her parents and sister at a dinner table. They talk about how she is going to go meet up with her friends and then they joke about her being pregnant and dropping out of school and that's it there is your lead character.    Since Julia Goldani Telles is the lead character named Hallie you'd think that there would be more to the character, but no she's just your typical teenage girl in a horror film.  There is something with Joey King's character Wren where she walks into her friend Katie's house and sneaks by her passed out drunk and Joey king looks at Katie's dad for a bit. They cut back to him on the couch sleeping than they cut back to her staring in a they are connected kind of way.  I was thinking okay did they just set up that Wren has some sort of connection to Katie's father like he's drunk all the time so maybe there are some inappropriate things going on and maybe Slender Man tortures her with this information. No, it's just there so they can show the dad passed out again.    When they get on the Slender Man forums I was thinking are they going to start referencing how irrelevant Slender Man is and how dumb a lot of this stuff is about him, but no they take it seriously. When they watch this video or "website Video" as the movie calls it I was expecting them to make fun of it, but they treat it seriously.  When the video finishes one of the girls says not scary at all, but her voice is shaking clearly in fear cliche shit like that.    This movie is not scary at all. It's just a bunch of loud noises.  0 out of 5 stars for Slender Man. I hope you enjoyed my review.

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