Friday, May 26, 2017


Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales is directed by Joachim Ronning and Espen Sandberg. It stars Johnny Depp, Javier Bardem, and Geoffrey Rush. The plot of the movie is when deadly ghost pirates led by Captain Salazar escape from the Devil's Triangle, determined to kill every pirate at sea, Captain Jack's only hope of survival lies in seeking out the legendary Trident of Poseidon, a powerful artifact that bestows upon its possessor total control over the seas.    The first three Pirates of the Caribbean movies are a lot of fun. Then Disney decided to milk more money out of this series and we got the fourth one and now we have a fifth one that nobody asked for. So Disney big solution to the nobody asked for this problem is to pretend like we have all been waiting for plot points to be resolved.    Johnny Depp is back as Jack Sparrow because god forbid Johnny Depp not grace us with his presence. I've seen him play this character not just in this series, but in other movies where he is supposed to do something different. As a result of seeing him do the same shit over and over this character has gotten almost unbearable. He is not funny at all.  Brenton Thwaites plays Henry Turner is the son of Will Turner. He sets out to find the Trident of Poseidon in hopes of undoing the ending of At World's End. Javier Bardem is the Captain of another crew of ghost pirates who figure into Jack Sparrow's origin story which just slows the movie down. Geoffrey Rush is back and still seems bored.    The ghost pirates aren't as cool as the skeletons from the first movie. Salazar is just a retread of Davy Jones. They introduce Zombie sharks and that scene is fun but is over quickly. The movie is just over 2 hours, but when the credits came up it felt like a fucking week had gone by.    This movie is being advertised as the final adventure, but unfortunately, there is a scene after the credits which hints at a possible continuation.  1 out of 5 stars for Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales. I hope you enjoyed my review.

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