Friday, April 7, 2017
THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS MOVIE REVIEW
The Fast and the Furious is directed by Rob Cohan and stars Paul Walker, Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, and Jordana Brewster. When I first saw this movie I liked it a lot. Having just watched it again I have no idea what the hell I was thinking this movie is terrible. I already regret saying I was going to do this series. The film opens with a truck full of things. So are we going to learn about the truck now? Nope. There's a scene change and it's nighttime and some black cars are chasing the truck. At this point, we are not told who is chasing the damn truck. So these genius heisters are going to use a harpoon to pull the windshield out of the truck. Then they are going to use the second harpoon and climb into the truck through the windshield that they just pulled out and knock out the truck driver. I fell like they made this way to complected they could have just oh I don't know stole the damn keys. So why do they do things the complected way you may ask well that is never explained. Then the movie cuts to a shot of Paul Walker driving his car during the daytime and he sucks at driving we know this because there is a lot of shaky camera work. Then Paul walker goes to a diner to talk to some girl why he goes here is never explained. Then some guys pull up and start talking about their cars. I don't know who the hell these guys are or why this matters. Then Paul walker gets in a fight with some dude. Then after the fight, he goes to a car shop where he starts ranting about how he needs nitrous oxide for his car and you guessed it it's not explained why he needs it so bad. After getting what he needs he takes his car to some kind of car meet thing. At the car meet, Paul Walker demands the right to race and he bets the pink slip to his car. Obviously, this is an unfair bet which raises the question why would he make this insane bet well to bad that you asked that because it's not going to be explained. Paul Walker loses the race, but for some moronic reason is happy about it and then he tries to be friendly with everyone. Then Vin Diesel and Paul Walker are attacked by a motorcycle gang. After talking with Vin Diesel and Paul Walker for about 30 seconds they shoot the car and set in on fire. Who are these people? Why is this happening? Not explained They then go back to Vin Diesel's house where everyone's having a party. you may be thinking to yourself is this party important? Well, I have no fucking idea. Then Paul walker flirts with this girl. I have no idea what the plot of this damn movie is. Then after the slowest 37 minutes of my life, we finally get an explanation Paul Walker is an undercover cop trying to find out whether Vin Diesel stole the truck from the beginning of the movie. So my main issues are 1. You have to sit through 37 minutes of the film before the movie reveals the main conflict and I think 37 minutes of exposition is the definition of slow. 2. Once you hit that 37-minute mark you have to wait 30 more minutes before Paul Walker races again and at that point your two-thirds into the movie and he races a random guy at a stoplight. Then you have to wait 20 more minutes for the climactic action scene which isn't about Paul Walker it focuses on another random guy. 0 out of 5 stars will never watch again.